"mommy guilt" lets face it, it's something us mom's feel on a daily basis and it's "okay" at an extent. balancing life for us women runs deep with in us, we are built with the "multitasking" bone.
there i am attempting to have some mommy time or running errands by myself and i start to think "i should of brought them with me." i end up buying them necessities instead of putting myself as a priority. i'm totally in need of some new black pumps but there i go, looking for new spring/summer wardrobes for the kids. recently, i have been traveling for work and to be honest it felt great to be on my own. not having to run to "the potty", laundry or clean up after two little ones was a dream. a friend text said: "enjoy yourself aka sleep". but that awful feeling of guilt started to creep in. not far from my hotel in minneapolis was "the mall of america". i took a quick uber ride over and arrived to see the amazingness of the mall. it was my first time there and i felt horrible for not having my littles with me.
for a while now, i have been in the middle feeling guilty for working: "am i spending enough time with the kids? i'll work while they sleep, i'll catch up on emails later" . truth is i end up going to sleep super late because i end up giving them all my time. i unplug during the day only to find i missed an important email conversation that needed to be answered.
i love being a mom and the time i have spent being a wahm (work at home mom)... to be honest; i need adult conversations, mommy friends and work to help me be a better mother. before, i had a bucket list full of dreams and goals that i declared over my life. in that list was to be a "mommy" and the list went on, it did not end after "mommy".
my struggle as a mom was highlighted this week when i ran into a blog post by "the today show"
"according to a new study prompting sighs of relief from guilt-ridden, time-squeezed parents nationwide.
the amount of time mothers spend with their children, ages 3 to 11, has little relationship to how successful those kids become in life, according to the conclusions reached in a new, wide-scale study that will be published in april by the journal of marriage and family."
today parenting contributor randi zuckerberg.
“When I'm working, I absolutely feel guilt all the time,” said the New York Times bestselling author and host of "Dot Complicated" on SiriusXM. “I think it's something a lot of working moms feel torn between. You know we're more than just our children, we have identities, we have jobs, we have passions outside of our household.”
the study also found that mothers today are actually spending more engaged time with their children than they did in the 1970's, and that's even with more of them in the workforce.
you know it's funny... if we think of our moms they "worked it" they multitasked it all. i stare at my mom and watch her do her, it's beautiful. she was not able to stay at home to raise my siblings and i, her and my dad worked hard to raise us with values, morals and education.
they did not spend all day with us... quantity, they gave us quality time on a daily basis.
maybe it's the public perception of what a "mother" needs to be that is stressing us all out. or us looking at other moms on social media and comparing ourselves. reality is, all of us have our own way of being a mommy. let's applaud the ones that are at home, because it is a 24/7 job... applaud those that are in the workforce breaking boundaries and support the momprenuers that are at home running an empire aka small business.
sidenote: whenever you can: "shop small". if you love a top on instagram/etsy for yourself or your little. buy it! this is you supporting another hard working mama.
reading the study put me at ease, i learned and read about other moms feeling the exact same way. reached out to some and now i'm feeling more empowered and loving the community that is being built for us moms.